Birthday 'Vette For Ursula!
- Chuckwagon
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- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 04:51
- Location: Rocky Mountains
Birthday 'Vette For Ursula!
A Birthday 'Vette For Ursula
My heart belongs to Ursula
Although we`ve never met.
Her birthday arrives tomorrow,
I bought 'er a red Corvette.
As I was leaving the dealership,
I thought I`d celebrate,
So I stopped in at waterin` hole,
And hoisted seven or eight!
When I left, I had the urge,
To find the cops and moon `em!
So I drove the `Vette right past their place,
And dropped my pants to swoon `em!
They cursed and swore and gave me chase,
I thought they`d shoot me dead,
Then I remembered I had a `Vette
And I sort of lost my head.
I put the pedal down to the metal,
That beast just screamed and roared,
It pulled me far back into the seat,
But my foot just kept it floored.
The `Vette spun tires and made blue smoke,
It moved just like the wind;
Next thing I knew, I was miles away,
But upside down and pinned!
I bailed from jail and payed the fine,
The `Vette was a total loss;
Next time I try to moon the cops,
I won`t be on the sauce.
I`ll sober up and apologize,
To my sweet girl down-under;
Her birthday `Vette is just a mess,
And so is her "Boy-Wonder"!
~~~~~~~ Happy Birthday Ursula!
My heart belongs to Ursula
Although we`ve never met.
Her birthday arrives tomorrow,
I bought 'er a red Corvette.
As I was leaving the dealership,
I thought I`d celebrate,
So I stopped in at waterin` hole,
And hoisted seven or eight!
When I left, I had the urge,
To find the cops and moon `em!
So I drove the `Vette right past their place,
And dropped my pants to swoon `em!
They cursed and swore and gave me chase,
I thought they`d shoot me dead,
Then I remembered I had a `Vette
And I sort of lost my head.
I put the pedal down to the metal,
That beast just screamed and roared,
It pulled me far back into the seat,
But my foot just kept it floored.
The `Vette spun tires and made blue smoke,
It moved just like the wind;
Next thing I knew, I was miles away,
But upside down and pinned!
I bailed from jail and payed the fine,
The `Vette was a total loss;
Next time I try to moon the cops,
I won`t be on the sauce.
I`ll sober up and apologize,
To my sweet girl down-under;
Her birthday `Vette is just a mess,
And so is her "Boy-Wonder"!
~~~~~~~ Happy Birthday Ursula!
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill!
- CrankyBuzzard
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- Chuckwagon
- Veteran
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- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 04:51
- Location: Rocky Mountains
Cranky Buzz-O,
We're all a little worried about you! Is everything okay and going your way? Are you still trying to make 3 and 2 equal 6? Shucks pal, you just can't pound a square peg into a round hole! So, conform ol' pard.... conform! Now...
I've got a question for you. If Ross had a 100 marbles and lost 89 of them to Bubba in a crooked and corrupt, maffia-based, shady and questionable, "set-up" marble game, then how marbles has Ross lost?
Yeah sure, and if.... if... Cranky Buzzzzard sat in his rocking chair, trying to enjoy his advanced life.... but suddenly fell forward, stumbling to the floor 2 feet forward!... and veering 5 inches to the left, THEN.... How far off his rocker is he?
Enquiring minds would like to know... (according to El Pato Loco!)
Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
We're all a little worried about you! Is everything okay and going your way? Are you still trying to make 3 and 2 equal 6? Shucks pal, you just can't pound a square peg into a round hole! So, conform ol' pard.... conform! Now...
I've got a question for you. If Ross had a 100 marbles and lost 89 of them to Bubba in a crooked and corrupt, maffia-based, shady and questionable, "set-up" marble game, then how marbles has Ross lost?
Yeah sure, and if.... if... Cranky Buzzzzard sat in his rocking chair, trying to enjoy his advanced life.... but suddenly fell forward, stumbling to the floor 2 feet forward!... and veering 5 inches to the left, THEN.... How far off his rocker is he?
Enquiring minds would like to know... (according to El Pato Loco!)
Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill!
Thank you everyone for your lovely birthday wishes. What a whacky poem Chucky. I am touched. You have quite the literary flair. That was a lovely touch, and I had a great Laugh.
About that corvette....
My tastes are a little simpler.
But it's a nice thought.
You should see the price of petrol here. Our cars are dwarf sized to match our budgets.
I had a lovely birthday so thank you all.
Ursula
About that corvette....
My tastes are a little simpler.
But it's a nice thought.
You should see the price of petrol here. Our cars are dwarf sized to match our budgets.
I had a lovely birthday so thank you all.
Ursula
Hmmm... Assuming he fell forward, but not straight forward, contacted marbles at an unknown angle approximately 1 cm off the floor,..... carry the two... divide by the letter "R" to compensate for the draft, uh, daft, uh... allow the Australian version of the spell checker to change draft to draught, thus converting velocity into cubic pookymeters... throw in a couple of "sixths of a gill" (a gill, pronounced "jill," is an old English measure for Scots whiskey [built-in conflict already], defined by any competent tourist hotel bartender as "not nearly enough")...
Okay. Balance the parentheses, just in case there are any LISP programmers left out there, and the answer (according to Douglas Adams' "Hitch Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy") is:
:. . . . . . . . . . . .→ 42 ←. . . . . . . . . .:
For extra credit: What was the question? (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hitchh ... the_Galaxy)
Hint: It could have something to do with Ursula's birthday. ...or, like the rambling mess above... nothing at all.
Okay. Balance the parentheses, just in case there are any LISP programmers left out there, and the answer (according to Douglas Adams' "Hitch Hikers' Guide to the Galaxy") is:
:. . . . . . . . . . . .→ 42 ←. . . . . . . . . .:
For extra credit: What was the question? (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hitchh ... the_Galaxy)
Hint: It could have something to do with Ursula's birthday. ...or, like the rambling mess above... nothing at all.
Experience - the ability to instantly recognize a mistake when you make it again.
El Quackoritis, you make me laugh and have an incredible sense of humor!el Ducko wrote:Hmmm... Assuming he fell forward, but not straight forward, contacted marbles at an unknown angle approximately 1 cm off the floor,..... carry the two... divide by the letter "R" to compensate for the draft, uh, daft, uh... allow the Australian version of the spell checker to change draft to draught, thus converting velocity into cubic pookymeters... throw in a couple of "sixths of a gill" (a gill, pronounced "jill," is an old English measure for Scots whiskey [built-in conflict already], defined by any competent tourist hotel bartender as "not nearly enough")...
Ron
- Chuckwagon
- Veteran
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- Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 04:51
- Location: Rocky Mountains
Hmm, I'm starting to lean towards El Quacko having been exposed to Asbestos maybe. Time to call the EPA?
Or we could prop him up against a wall, spread the flippers and read him his Wedlinydomowe rights:-
* You have the right to make your own sausage.
* Anything you add or may want to add to an existing recipe will be used in the MRI.
* You have the right to consult CW before posting a topic and asking other members' advice.
* If you cannot make your own sausage, we will teach you this hobby, if you wish. (Does not apply to El Quacko because he makes good sausage)
* If you decide to tell us all your sausage making secrets now, you will still have the right to continue making your own sausage from here onwards.
* Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to continue making sausage?
Or we could prop him up against a wall, spread the flippers and read him his Wedlinydomowe rights:-
* You have the right to make your own sausage.
* Anything you add or may want to add to an existing recipe will be used in the MRI.
* You have the right to consult CW before posting a topic and asking other members' advice.
* If you cannot make your own sausage, we will teach you this hobby, if you wish. (Does not apply to El Quacko because he makes good sausage)
* If you decide to tell us all your sausage making secrets now, you will still have the right to continue making your own sausage from here onwards.
* Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to continue making sausage?
Ron