Hi New Guys - Introduce Yourself

Talk about anything here as long as it is not against the rules.
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Thu May 15, 2014 09:10

Can you feel the pulse in your wrist? For humans the normal pulse is 70 heartbeats per minute. Here are some crazy, related facts: In one day your heart beats 100,000 times. Half your body`s red blood cells are replaced every seven days. If all the blood vessels in your body were laid end to end, they would reach about 60,000 miles. That`s enough to go around the world twice. Oh yes, and now... get this! By the time you are 70 you will have easily drunk over 12,000 gallons of water. Except in the case of El DuckO - about half that is another type of fluid! And last but not least... an amazing fact you probably couldn`t live without! Eighty-five per cent of the population can curl their tongue into a tube! :shock:

Welcome to the WD brand outfit "archieg" in San Francisco! This is a crazy bunch, but they`re nice folks. We`re glad to have you with us.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by el Ducko » Sat May 17, 2014 00:05

Your choice:
Chuckwagon wrote:If all the blood vessels in your body were laid end to end, they would reach about 60,000 miles. That`s enough to go around the world twice.
If Chuckwagon were laid end-to-end in a 12 foot wide room,
(a) he would go around the room about half a time.
(b) it might be a good thing.

However, that moustache of his is another matter.
:mrgreen:
Experience - the ability to instantly recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sat May 17, 2014 01:02

OOOOooooo... you.... you.... you... danged rabid duck! Where`s my 12 gauge? :roll:
Just answer this question: What would you call a dozen rabid ducks laid out end to end?
A GOOD START! :lol:
And be more respectful when you talk about my mustache... It`s a work of art! :cool:
Last edited by Chuckwagon on Sat May 17, 2014 01:24, edited 1 time in total.
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sat May 17, 2014 01:15

Don`t know where this came from but it`s realistic.

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little beginner's badass archery kits. Of course, the first month I went around our property shooting arrows into anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 Forty-horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 arrows before it goes down? Tough "critter".

That got boring, so being the 10-year-old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. One summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard when I spotted something shiny over by the tack shed. It was a brand new can of starting fluid (Ether). A light bulb went off in my head! I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought that it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. Lets face it, to a ten-year-old, "ether" really doesn't "sound" too flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles). My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit of powder around the Ether can but it all sort of dumped out somehow. No biggie eh? One pound of Pyrodex and 16 ounces of Ether should make a loud pop - kinda like a firecracker you know?

On second thought, I wanted a louder noise than a firecracker. To heck with that - I'm going back into the house for another can. So I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

Well, I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the flaming arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a "tick" as the arrow launched from my bow. Just then, in a slow-motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... OH SHOOT! He just got home from work.

So help me - it took 10 minutes for that arrow to travel from my bow to the can. My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a "what the heck" look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the ether starting-fluid can. Wow! Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can. Oh shoot!!!!

When the shock wave hit, it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering a foot above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of "dust-fog" full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a worm or two!

The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this... THE COTTON PICKING DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE!! There was a big sweet gum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said "was". That sucker got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my face blackened and my T-Shirt shredded. My dad is lying on his back on the other side of the carport, having what I can only assume is, a Vietnam flashback: ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOU'RE BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE. DARN - IT CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat had blown off and was 30 feet behind him in the driveway. All the windows on the north side of the house were blown out and there was a slow-rolling mushroom cloud about 2000 feet over our backyard!

Now, on the other side of the yard, there had been a parked, three- wheeler, Honda. Now, I`m not sure what it was, but what used to be "fenders" are now all drooped down and touching the tires. I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't know - I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't even hear inside my own head. Shucks, I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. Then... I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke up later.... and repeated this process for an hour or so and... well, you get the idea.

I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR, and Dad screaming, "Bring him back to life so I can kill him again". One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been complaining about that danged stump for years and dad never did anything about it. Shucks, I stepped up to the plate and handled business. Dad sold his muzzle loader a week or so later and I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality, either from the blast or the beating, or both. I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery. It's good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life.

Hey folks, we`ve got two new members with us today. Welcome to Wedliny Domowe "Giannisk" in Ilioupoli, Athens, Greece, and "slickric" in Tampa, Florida. Nice to have you with us boys! Pull up some campfire and pour the Arbuckle`s. :wink:

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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el Ducko
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Post by el Ducko » Sat May 17, 2014 17:22

:idea: Ahhhhh. This explains a lot!
Pour that Arbuckle's, boys..... and another pint of blood for the guy with the scorched mustache.
:mrgreen:
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Chuckwagon
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sun May 18, 2014 08:23

No Less - No More

Now, here lies the body of poor Lester Moore,
He made his own bacon and guessed at the cure;
He didn`t like rules; said caution made fools,
So, instructions he chose to ignore.

Mathematics just gave the man fits,
And fractions scared him out of his wits;
He confused `trite with `trate, in all that he ate,
`cause spelling in school was the pits.

An ounce looked so good, he used more;
And a teaspoon? It soon became four;
An` if it ended in `trate, he just threw in eight,
As for `trite... he just tossed in some more!

Ol` Lester just didn`t use sense;
Just tryin` to save half a pence,
Botulinum`s a threat, And he soon would regret,
Not using nitrates as defense.

The man loathed advice, don`t you see?
And rules were for fools just like me;
Now we`ll never know why, `Ol Les didn`t die,
Of self-imposed idiocy.

Les never scrubbed nails or washed fingers;
And the scent of spoiled sausage still lingers,
Now he`s ringin` Hell`s bells, and his sausage still smells,
As Les has become a dead ringer!

At first, Les` neck was just sore,
But then he could swallow no more;
Then cardiac arrest, laid our man to his rest,
`cause nitrates he chose to ignore.

Yes, here lies the body of poor Lester Moore,
He made his own bacon and guessed at the cure;
Two teaspoons per ten pounds, no less and no more,
For ten pounds, two teaspoons, no Les - no Moore!

Welcome to Wedliny Domowe KoosEnJan in Australia. Nice to have you with us. Pour some of that Arbuckle`s Green River brown gargle down yer` ol` gullet and warm up. It`s a mighty cool day today. I saw an icicle turn blue and start to shiver!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by cogboy » Sun May 18, 2014 22:50

Hi all ,I just signed up and I'm a newbie here but have been making fresh sausage and venison summer sausage for over a decade. I hope to pick up some tips to improve my products. Thanks, Dave
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Post by Chuckwagon » Mon May 19, 2014 22:40

Welcome to WD "cogboy"! We're glad to see you. Say, that's a mighty interesting handle you've got. How about telling us how you got it.
Park your horse in the shade and pull up some campfire. There's a new pot of Arbuckles on the griddle. Relax... you're among friends. :wink:

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by Chuckwagon » Fri May 23, 2014 08:47

Welcome to Wedliny Domowe "barbar" in Norway. We`re glad to have you with us. Say, I`ve got some scrupulously and fastidiously derived, reliably authentic, and sagaciously prudent "Seasoned Saddlebum`s Sage Advice & Philosophy From The Saddle" ... just for you!

"Ya know, life isn`t always fair, but it`s still good. When in doubt, just take the next small step. Life is too short - enjoy it. Take a deep breath - It calms the mind. Mentally, get rid of anything that isn't useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways. It's never too late to be happy. But it`s all up to you and no one else. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer".

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sat May 24, 2014 10:47

Yeee Haww! Another wrangler ridin` for the WD brand outfit today! Say hello to "vtsalers" from ... ... Say, do you realize "vtsalers" is only the fourth member from his home-state to join us? See if you can figure out which state it is. Okay cowboys, here are a few clues: With a population of fewer than nine thousand people, the state`s capital is not only the smallest in the nation, it`s the only state capital without a McDonalds! Shucks, until 1996, it was the only state without a Wal-Mart. You can drive all day through this state and not see a single billboard; they`re simply not allowed and forests cover more than three-fourths of this "Green Mountain State". Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream company is located here, and they give their ice cream waste to local Vermont farmers who use it to feed their hogs. The hogs just love the multiple flavors - uhh....errrr... all but one, that is! They won`t have a thing to do with "Mint Oreo"! Oh yes, the capital? It`s Montpelier of course - capital of Vermont. Welcome aboard "vtsalers". Park your hoss, toss yer` saddle across the top rung of the corral, and grab a cup of Arbuckles at the campfire. Welcome to Wedliny Domowe - the world`s greatest sausage-making website! :wink:

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sun May 25, 2014 20:29

Say, there are a couple of fellars ridin` down the ridge and burnin` leather! Who are those hombres? Ohmygosh! It just came over the wire... those boys just held up the stage from Rock Springs! Let`s hide these guys out for a spell, while they join WD and have some bad coffee on the campfire! Say fellars, you`re as welcome as rain here at WD. Put yer` broomtails in the corral and mosey on down to the campfire. Some of the boys are "twistin` whizzers" (tellin` tall tales) and eatin` bear sign (doughnuts). Welcome to Wedliny Domowe "Cashmkr2001" from Rotterdam, and "Grill", from Vlaardingen, both in the Netherlands! It`s nice to have you boys ridin' with our WD brand outfit.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by vtsalers » Tue May 27, 2014 14:22

Hello. I'm new to the forum and not sure how things work. Many of the terms are a mystery. We live on a small farm in Johnson VT and raise our own pork, beef and chicken. I've checked this site every time we butcher a pig. I'm wondering about storage of sausages after they have lost their desired moisture content. My attempts seem to lose quality quickly. I'm also looking for folks with sausage interests in northern VT.
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Post by Chuckwagon » Tue May 27, 2014 15:25

Hi vtsalers! You wrote:
I'm wondering about storage of sausages after they have lost their desired moisture content.
Wow, everyone would like to know the answer to that one. Before refrigeration came along, some cultures used to actually push them into solidified lard inside a barrel to keep them longer. We don't recommend that though - what we do recommend is a vacuum-plastic bag storage sealer such as "MagicVac". Nothing keeps them for any extended length of time; you'll just have to eat them. :wink: However, vacuum bags surely can slow down the deterioration. There are several good vac machines on the market, but they don't exactly "give 'em away". :roll: They can get a little expensive, depending upon the quality.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by Chuckwagon » Fri May 30, 2014 07:47

Yeee Haww!... Here comes another Texan. You folks are tops. Say, I`ll bet you folks didn`t know it is still a hanging offense in Texas to steal cattle or to put graffiti on someone else`s cow. :shock: It is also illegal to indecently expose yourself or swear in front of a corpse in Texas. Yup, it`s true! And in Galveston, it is illegal to have a camel run loose on the beach. Oh... and just where on earth is the world`s largest parking lot? Have you got any idea? It`s at the Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport! Our newest member "Meat_Master" lives in the largest city in Texas - Houston. It is also the fourth largest city in the United States. Texas experiences the most tornadoes in the United States, with an average of 139 per year. Tornadoes occur most often in North Texas and the Panhandle. Now, get this... after the popularity of the song "Luckenbach, Texas," so many road signs were stolen that the government stopped making them! Welcome to Wedliny Domowe MeatMaster. Make yourself comfortable and join in the fun. We`re fond of Texans here! Pour yourself a cup of that great Arbuckles brown gargle. It's on our campfire... right there in the pitted & chipped, blue-enameled pot. It`s nice to have you with us sir!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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Post by Chuckwagon » Sat May 31, 2014 03:11

Welcome to WD "DennisH"! Another Texan! Wow, you folks have some great teams down that a way! There are the Dallas Mavericks, Dallas Cowboys, Houston Astros, Dallas Stars, Houston Rockets, Houston Comets, Texas Rangers and San Antonio Spurs. Geeeze, who am I forgetting? :roll:
What part of the state are you in Dennis? The reason I ask is that you could have that goofy El DuckO flying over your house and not be aware of it. He has been known to drop hints... drop lines... and drop rocks! Yes, rocks. Texas rocks. So if you see that winged dingbat flying overhead, just fill the air with 12 gauge bird repellant! El DuckO (that El QuackO to you and I) is from the Texas "hill country". Are you anywhere near it?
We`re glad to have you with us Dennis. Pull up some campfire and `set a spell`. There`s hot `buckles in the pot!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon
If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably needs more time on the grill! :D
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