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Posted: Tue Apr 01, 2014 06:28
by Chuckwagon
Let`s welcome two more desperadoes to the WD Brand outfit! I reckon these must be the Pinkerton Detective boys who rode in on the 3:15 Stage from Red Rock Pass. And I reckon they`re a totin` a ton of iron. Just look at those uncompromising mugs and cold, piercing, steel-blue eyes! Smile boys, you`re among friends. Who "air ye" after? Butch Cratchity and the Sunburned Kid? Hang up your fiddles fellas! Those owl hoots already absquantulated to the south willows. We`re all fired mighty glad to see you "littleGasthaus" from Germany and "Sparkie" from Capetown, South Africa. Pour yourselves a couple of cups of brown gargle and pull up some shade boys.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2014 15:16
by littleGasthaus
Thanks for the Warm Welcome! ssorllih, Cookie, Igor good day to you all :grin:

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 02:10
by Chuckwagon
My horse is pretty smart! He`s great with algebra and calculus. But how 'bout cows and ducks? They`re really, really, dumb! And what about people? :shock: Well, the difference between being stupid and being smart is... there is a limit how smart one can become! :lol: I have found that one is never too old to learn something stupid. For instance, you may avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. And shucks, do you remember the one about WD-40? It`s really, really, dumb too! It goes like this: You really only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape! If it doesn`t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn`t move and does, use the duct tape. And ... if you can`t fix it with a hammer, you`ve got an electrical problem. Shucks pards, my horse knows that!

Welcome aboard "humma" in LaRonge, Saskatchewan, Canada, and "Cooky" somewhere in my home state of Utah. We`re happy to have you folks with us. Skedaddle on down to the campfire boys! Shucks... "mosey" or "sidle" if you must! :roll: Kick off yer` stogies n` steel! Reckon you ought ta` be careful not to step in round browns or squaw wood. Set a spell and churn some corral dust with us. The boys are stretchin` the blanket and stringin` the whizzers tonight! Pour yourselves some Arbuckle`s and sit back n` relax - you`re among friends!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 18:49
by Chuckwagon
Yeee Hawww Sausage Wranglers! Two new members today. We`re growing pards. Welcome to the WD outfit "JDP" in Missouri and "Butcher Boy" in Elk City, Oregon. Nice to have you with us fellas!

Say... Isn`t it just about time for some... Saddlebum`s Sagebrush Sagacity & Wild West Wisdom? :roll:
If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have - not what you want or even need. Shucks pards, the best is yet to come! :wink:

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2014 02:57
by Chuckwagon
A cop pulled me over and asked me if I saw the stop sign I went through.
I said, "Sure I did".
He got really nasty and started screamin`, "Then why didn`t you stop"?
I told him I just don`t believe everything I read!

Our latest member is from the Klang Valley in Malaysia. Welcome aboard "edlynk". We`re happy to have you with us. Be sure to stop for all the signs! :roll:

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Wed Apr 16, 2014 10:42
by Chuckwagon
Hey pards, let`s welcome bethanymc in Decatur, Georgia. Nice to have you with us girl!

Say, I`ve got some "Saddlebum`s Western Wisdom" just for you new folks! Yeeee Haaaww! (Wow, I missed saying that for a couple of days). Okay... here goes... "the next time you slice open your finger, quickly grab some good-lookin` cowboy and start huggin` the daylights out of him! Why? Cuddling releases oxytocin... and oxytocin helps speed healing and recovery from physical wounds.

And say there wranglers, did you happen to know that otters hold hands when sleeping? Yup, it's so they don`t drift away from each other? It`s true! :shock:

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2014 03:35
by Chuckwagon
Yeee Hawwww! Two new wranglers on the WD ranch outfit today! Howdy, Stickstring and Big Mama, both from California. Say, you two look a little hungry. Put away yer` saddles and join us `round the campfire for beans, roastanears, and baby-back ribs with sourdough biscuits! Nice to have you with us folks. Welcome aboard! Say, I believe it`s about time fer` some... "Inquiring Minds Really, Really, Want To Know".

1. If lightning didn`t zig-zag, would it be even faster?
2. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?
3. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
4. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?
5. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
6. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
7. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?
9. To make a long story short, should you even tell it?
10. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from the heartbreak of psoriasis, does that mean that one enjoys it?
AND FINALLY... :roll:
If the Duk was hit with slingshot ammo, fell out of his rocking chair and bounced two feet to the left and a foot forward, how far off his rocker is he? :roll: Enquiring minds want to know!

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Thu Apr 24, 2014 08:31
by Chuckwagon
Looky there... up on the ridge, ridin` fast as the breeze, and burnin` leather! It`s that ol` "toddpipkin" from the "Deep South". Oh no... there`s a posse chasin` him again. :roll: Same one as yesterday eh? Look`s like he held up the bank at Cimmaron again. Geeeze ... toddpipkin! Thirteen times in fifteen days! Don`t you get tired of holdin` up the same clerk every day? Shucks, one of these days they might put real money in the bank. Come on in to WD and we`ll hide you out.... Again! :lol:
Welcome to the outfit toddpipkin! Kick off yer` Justins (downwind that is!) and relax. You`re among friends.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Sun Apr 27, 2014 06:44
by Chuckwagon
I read an article about the dangers of drinking! It scared the snot out of me. So that`s it! After today, NO MORE READING! And that`s not all! As long as I`m complainin` I might as well get this off my chest! Every day, lots of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians! Yes, perfectly innocent plants! Let`s end this "plant violence" right now! Want to help? Eat bacon! Bacon is the duct tape of food. :mrgreen:

Yeee Haaawww! We have three more new members. Welcome to WD "big tymer" from Midwest, Wi, Cronox from San Juan, Puerto Rico, and Del Boy in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Nice to have you folks with us. Pull up some shade and pour yourselves some Arbuckles.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 00:07
by Chuckwagon
Howdy folks! I had to research the home of our newest member because he is from a town of only 18 people, according to the 2006 census. Welcome to Wedliny Domowe , Jimmy Beef in Forrest. Now pards, where is Forrest, you ask. Forrest is a small settlement and railway station on the Trans-Australian Railway in Western Australia - the longest stretch of straight railway in the world! It stretches from Rawlinna, Western Australia to Ooldea in South Australia. The airstrip at Forrest was the overnight stop on the first scheduled passenger air service between Perth and Adelaide from 1929 to 1934, operated by West Australian Airways. The 18-room hostel advertised and provided a "restaurant meal worthy of any city hotel". Oh yes, how did it come to be named Forrest? After Sir John Forrest, of course! A famous explorer who became the first Premier of Western Australia. Welcome aboard Jimmy Beef. Pour yourself a cup of Arbuckles and join us at the campfire.

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Right name, wrong town

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 01:48
by Jimmy Beef
Hi Chuckwagon, I'm actually from Forrest in Victoria - a small town of a few hundred in the beautiful Otway Ranges. Love to see what you come up with on that one. I have an organic beef property and directly sell our beef into homes in Melbourne, and a couple of cafes. I'm Jimmy Beef because a few of my friends/customers little tackers call me Jimmy the meat man. One little character just calls me "Meat". And now she calls meat "Jimmy". Too funny. We have lots of kangaroos around and recently have spotted quite a few deer on the place. So no shortage of options. We've also done some Berkshire pigs and Black suffock lamb, the latter of which I purchase from a neighbour and process for our customers. Have just started making sausages as another option for our customers over summer as our butcher doesn't have time to do them. Salami is next. Just waiting for some controllers to arrive before I convert a fridge.

Posted: Thu May 01, 2014 22:28
by Chuckwagon
What do politicians have in common with diapers? They need to be changed often... and for the same reason! I can say that because I`ve played that game. Say, I`ve learned a surefire way of getting to sleep. I don`t count sheep anymore. NOOooooo.... I just close my eyes and visualize duct-taping El DuckO`s beak shut! :roll: Geeeezze... He probably thinks it`s called "Duck" tape. I found out that he`s so old, that his birth certificate expired! Ya know, he was once addicted to hokey pokey... but he turned himself around!

Welcome to WD "chefeverett" of St. Louis, Missouri, and "jcovey" in Seattle, Washington. Nice to have you fellas with us. Join us in the chatroom (that`s the campfire in this outfit) for some "corral dust" (gossip). A bunch of the guys and gals are "stringin` whizzers"! (telling tall tales).

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Sun May 04, 2014 02:13
by Chuckwagon
Yeee Haww! Another Australian joining our membership today! Welcome to WD "brian smith" in Carey Gully, Australia. (That`s just outside Adelaide folks, in Southern Australia). We are getting many Australians on our site and they are terrific people. Australians are an intelligent lot! And they are big-hearted and courteous too! We`re glad to have you with us Brian. Make yourself right at home. Hey, did you know that Australians have their own "site source " forum on this site at this link: http://wedlinydomowe.pl/en/viewtopic.php?t=6050

Let`s have a little fun. We`ll see which of the Australians are experts! Let`s see how well you know your continent guys! See if you can answer all these questions about your beloved homeland without looking up the answers. Some are simple - others may prove to provoke a little thought! If you get all of them right without hesitation, let us know about it.

1. At which famous east coast bay did James Cook arrive in April 1770?
2. Darwin is the capital of which state?
3. Perth is the capital of which Australian state?
4. What is Queensland's most northerly city?
5. What is the capital of Australia?
6. What is the coastline to the south of Brisbane called?
7. What is the name of the surfing beach on the outskirts of Sydney?
8. What is the name of the world's longest reef?
9. What is the world's largest sand island northeast of Brisbane?
10. If you were traveling along the Great Ocean Road in Victoria, what 12 off-coast formations would you discover?
11. Which cape is at the northernmost tip of Australia in Queensland?
12. Which Australian city hosted its final Formula 1 race in 1995?
13. Where does the rainforest meet the sea in northern Queensland?
14. Which city with 3 million inhabitants is Australia's largest?
15. What is the capital of the state of Victoria?

The answers will be in the next post. Image

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon

Posted: Wed May 07, 2014 22:01
by Chuckwagon
Howdy Sidekicks And Fellow Smoke Addicts!
You know... not all investments are good ones. For instance:
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines 5 years ago, you would have $49.00 today!
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG 5 years ago, you would have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers 5 years ago, you would have $0.00 today.
However... if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for the recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.
So... based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
And as a bonus...
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that on average Americans drink 22 gallons of alcohol a year. Hmmmmm..... That means that the average American gets about 41 miles to the gallon!

Welcome to the WD brand outfit "ricco" in Sydney, Australia, and "Tasso" in Texas. We`re glad to have you with us. Park yer` hosses and mosey on over to the campfire for some Arbuckle`s brown gargle - Green River mud! We`re stringin` whizzers tonight!

________________________
Oh, and yes... here are the answers to the Australian Quiz in the last post: 1. Botany Bay 2. Northern Territory 3. Western Australia 4. Cairns 5. Canberra 6. Gold Coast 7. Bondi Beach 8. Great Barrier Reef 9. Frazer Island 10. Twelve Apostles 11. Cape York 12. Adelaide (just outside of Brian Smith`s "Carey Gully") 13. Cape Tribulation 14. Sydney 15. Melbourne

Posted: Tue May 13, 2014 06:22
by Chuckwagon
Now, here is some real Saddlebum Western Horse Sense for all you wranglers and smoke addicts. "The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win! - and cheat like hell if necessary." Did you know that the average response time of a 911 call is over 23 minutes? That`s outrageous! In Utah and Texas, the response time of a 9mm, a .357 mag, or a .44 magnum, is 1400 feet per second! :shock:

Welcome to the WD brand outfit "Louis" in Cape Town, "BrianRamsay" in the USA, and "rgauthier" in Chicago. We`re glad to have you with us fellas! Pull up some shade and pour yourselves a little Arbuckles from that beat-up, chipped-enamel, ol` blue pot on the campfire. Grab yer` reloadin` outfits fer` some viddles too. We`ve got ribs n` fixins` fer supper, and... enough Rocky Mountain Rib Sauce to paint yer horse! Yeeee Hawwww! :roll:

Best Wishes,
Chuckwagon